My miracle came while I was working as a jazz singer in Japan. My husband came to visit me over Thanksgiving for a few days (I was on a 3 month long contract). After he left, I discovered that I was pregnant! We’d been married for 10 years and had decided, just before I left for Japan, to stop preventing pregnancy. All of our folks and friends had given up on the idea we would ever start a family of our own. LOL
I didn’t know what to expect from pregnancy. My skin glowed, I was really, really tired, constantly nauseous and had lots and lots of dreams. In particular, I remember waking from an angel dream. In my dream, I saw an angel – wings, halo, flowing white dress and all – holding my baby swaddled in a soft pink blanket. The angel said to me, in a way which only angels can, “don’t worry, everything will be okay.” I found this to be comforting and a little odd all at once, since I felt strongly that I was carrying a baby boy and everything was already okay.
Suddenly, I began bleeding. I was rushed to the hospital where my pregnancy was confirmed and on a monitor in an emergency room where all the words looked like little drawings to my foreign eyes, I saw the baby’s heart begin to beat for the very first time. I was given something to help me keep from losing the pregnancy and sent home to my hotel.
I continued to bleed. On Christmas day, during a light snow, the doctor confirmed that I had lost the baby. The sonogram clearly showed the empty sac. I saw it myself. I asked the doctor why I would still feel pregnant. He said that it was the hormones and recommended a D & C, a procedure to assure all remnants of the lost pregnancy would be removed.
I listened to my thoughts; countless women have had miscarriages over countless years without having D & Cs. Surely, my body was designed to handle this. I declined the procedure.
Back in my room, I cried. I cried and cried, great sobs. Having exhausted my supply of tissues, I pressed toilet paper into my eyes to stem the tide of tears.
Why would I have a dream of an angel telling me everything would be alright when, in fact, everything was not alright? I caught my reflection in the bathroom mirror and burst out laughing as hard as I had cried. With pieces of toilet paper lodged in the creases around my eyes I looked like some kind of raccoon in reverse.
On New Years Day, I flew home to Los Angeles. My contract was complete and now, at least I knew I was capable of becoming pregnant. Overjoyed to be home again with my husband, I went to the doctor, just to be sure everything was okay.
Guess what? I was still carrying a child! We determined that I had been carrying twins, one miscarried and the little girl was still happily growing inside me! That day, I was so excited and started planning for my parenthood journey by reading everything I could online. I think I read 100 posts before deciding what mattress I would buy for my twin souls. I ended up deciding on an SPL crib mattress thanks to this guide: https://www.hmhb.org/best-crib-mattresses/.
The angel was right. Everything was okay.
I’ve been told that sometimes when a new soul is coming to be born, it has a loving, companion soul for part of the journey. That’s the way I like to think of it. Twin souls, my boy and girl – he escorted her here – and returned home. My miracle is named Lisette.
Thanks for stopping by and I’ll see you in a minute. Smiles, Lisa
Photo by: Lisa Keating